You're never too old

PUBLISHED: 13:12 26 July 2007 | UPDATED: 15:12 12 May 2010

IT seems that the whole pattern of life is about to change seeing that I now live with a retired person. And someone who is a pensioner, too. Now I ve nothing against retired people or pensioners. Indeed, I quite accept that we all grow older. But I didn

IT seems that the whole pattern of life is about to change seeing that I now live with a retired person.

And someone who is a pensioner, too.

Now I've nothing against retired people or pensioners. Indeed, I quite accept that we all grow older.

But I didn't realise that simply retiring and becoming a pensioner would cause so much turmoil.

Even Nipper the cat is confused about the new arrangements - and it's been less than a week since Mrs Baker (we have to say that because she had spent the past 38 years in teaching and was used to such an address from the pupils) retired and a month since becoming a pensioner.

And what a difference.

There's arrangements to be made about the bus pass and the rail card.

There's making sure that the shopping is done on pensioners' day.

And last week details of the winter fuel allowance arrived.

I don't know whether we get an extra sack of nutty slack or are allowed to turn up the heating to a tropical level.

Besides, I've nothing to do with the winter allowance.

And that's worrying.

When winter comes I can see us having one warm room and me spending time in a cold room due to not having the right qualifications for the allowance.

There I will sit all winter wrapped in blankets and probably nursing a cough and cold.

And obviously, reaching a certain age means having to have Horlicks or Ovaltine and the occasional Hob Nob as a nightcap.

Yes, we know how to live.

And then there is the half-price offer when visiting museums or art galleries or other public buildings which display exhibitions and the like.

It's not bad this pension business.

And, obviously, there's all that time during the day when other retired women get together and have meals.

It's not so much Ladies who Lunch (that, I believe, is for working women), but Ladies who Munch.

And, I suppose, there are pensioner portions and, again, a special price menu, while the rest of us have to pay the higher prices.

When you think about it, we must be subsidising the pensioners through all these hidden "bargains".

And being a pensioner means there's enough time to get through the latest Harry Potter in two days.

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