The price of fame

PUBLISHED: 12:30 27 September 2007 | UPDATED: 15:16 12 May 2010

It seems there is a public demand to be told more about the adventures of Nipper the Cat. To tell the truth, when I say public demand, it s about half-a-dozen people saying in the past week that I should be revealing more details about Nipper the Cat s ex

It seems there is a public demand to be told more about the adventures of Nipper the Cat.

To tell the truth, when I say public demand, it's about half-a-dozen people saying in the past week that I should be revealing more details about Nipper the Cat's exploits.

Now this could be difficult.

It's not because Nipper the Cat has not been involved in any more adventures.

We are becoming a bit concerned about all the publicity. It may cause her to have a change of personality and a belief that she happens to be of star quality.

That will never do.

Just think of the demands having such a status would cause.

First, she would probably want an agent, and her own dressing room, and meals that do not come in packets from the supermarket.

She would expect appearance money like, I believe, Arthur used to get when he was making those Whiskas advertisements of some years ago.

Then there would be the usual wrangle over a contract, and the appearance of high-charging lawyers all wanting to get into the act.

And then there would probably be all that merchandising when Nipper the Cat mouse traps or, in these days, mouse mats appear on the scene.

Of course, there is another side to being a star.

And this is where the reality comes into play.

I have it on good authority that Sooty didn't pay Sweep a penny, and Rag, Tag, and Bobtail were given nothing for their appearances, and as for Hammy the Hamster in Tales of the Riverbank, he gave his services because he just happened to like the voice of Johnny Morris.

And did Hollywood producers ever pay Lassie and Rin Tin Tin?

I think, too, that Nipper has to remember that Dick Whittington and his cat (otherwise Puss in Boots) were attracted to London after being told that the streets were paved in gold.

And when they arrived all they discovered was squalor and poverty.

Still, they did turn again, which went to show that not everything revolves around fame and fortune.

Perhaps in Nipper the Cat's masterplan all she needs is 15 minutes of fame and will then return to a more normal life.

And that, these days, consists of eating and sleeping.

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