Matt's View: Time to chuck boring celebrations on the bonfire
PUBLISHED: 15:04 09 November 2013
Our reporter Matt Gooding's personal view
As anyone with access to the internet will be able to confirm, the calendar is awash with special occasions these days.
For example, today, Thursday November 7, is National Men Make Dinner Day, an event we seem to celebrate quite frequently in my house. Tomorrow is National X-Ray day (nope, me neither) and Sunday is National Tongue Twister day – poems at the ready everyone.
With so many alternative days to celebrate, I propose we get rid of two of the most boring and pointless occasions on the calendar: Halloween and Guy Fawkes night.
Halloween seems to get more popular every year, for reasons I cannot fathom. Quite why anyone would want to indulge in a celebration of all things evil is beyond me. It’s fake, Americanised, nonsense which just gives the little scallies in my neighbourhood an excuse to go door-to-door trying to extract as many sweets as possible from people they don’t know, usually with no sign of any gratitude when you do chuck them a few Haribo to help them on their way. I should probably be grateful I haven’t been threatened with a gun or a knife. Yet.
But I even prefer Halloween over Guy Fawkes night, Bonfire night, or whatever it is you want to call it.
First of all, the whole premise of it is a bit rubbish. Who cares that an early prototype terrorist tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament back in the day? The poor chap probably suffered enough after he was caught, without the indignity of seeing his effigy burned on a bonfire every 12 months for the rest of eternity.
And even when I was a kid I didn’t see the appeal of fireworks. Sure, they’re pretty and mildly entertaining for about 30 seconds, but what you do after that? Stand there getting freezing cold, soaking wet, and acquiring a stiff neck.
It would be ok if fireworks ever changed, but the fact is that they’re the same year after year after year. When you’ve seen them once why on earth would you want to go back?
So I hope you all enjoyed your fireworks displays and trick or treating this week; next year you should consider staying in and practicing making cranes and flowers out of paper in preparation for November 11 – international origami day.