Joe’s Crow Country

PUBLISHED: 13:45 25 October 2010

JOE TYLER

JOE TYLER

Archant

We all know what was has been going on in Chile over the past few months, so there’s no point in throwing in my opinion about how difficult it would have been for those involved, the families, and the nation as a whole. That sort of thing has been repeated a lot and there’s not much more to add.

We all know what was has been going on in Chile over the past few months, so there’s no point in throwing in my opinion about how difficult it would have been for those involved, the families, and the nation as a whole. That sort of thing has been repeated a lot and there’s not much more to add.

However, the saga did get me thinking in a different way: if I was stuck down a hole with 32 people, but I was told by those above land that there was no chance of us being saved, so we had to form our own world, create a society and re-populate life, then who would I chose as my fellow comrades?

Quite a thinker. Let’s change it a bit though, to make it at least vaguely believable. Instead of a mine, it’s a new planet, where we have been sent as part of an experiment. And I can choose any one I want. And they all have to be famous people. See, I told you it would be vaguely believable.

Oh yes, and instead of 33 of us, there’s only going to be nine, because I have a word limit to stick to.

Let’s think about what we would need – a wide variety of intelligence, knowledge, creativity and graft, and an equal mix of men and women, to keep things as balanced as possible.

Someone to keep us all healthy would be good. There aren’t too many doctors or nurses that are after the celebrity limelight, so I’ll go with the only two I can think of: Harry Hill, who is not only a fully qualified GP but would do his best to keep spirits up, and Abi Titmuss, who before being a lads-mag favourite, was a nurse. Two rather economical choices, I think.

We are going to need new buildings, so would need someone who is going to know what to do with our limited resources. I am going to bring along the architect Tom Wright, who designed the world’s only seven-star hotel, the Burj Al Arab in Dubai. Hopefully Tom will know what materials are good to use for what.

Nigella Lawson would be a good choice, to keep an eye on catering. Also, I think someone from the sporting world would be good, to ensure the health of our new race is in good check, so I’ll bring Serena Williams.

I briefly thought about Stephen Hawking, who it seems rude not to take into outer space. However, age isn’t really on his side. Instead I’ll go with the celebrity physicist Brian Cox, who admittedly I don’t know too much about, but seems like a very bright bloke, and as an added bonus, was keyboard player in 80s rock band Dare.

Cox’s musical talent would go to waste without an accomplice, and although I am adequate on guitar myself, someone with an all-round musical talent would be good. I thought about Noel Gallagher who I’ve always wanted a chat with, but I’m quite sure he’d be a bit too miserable, so I’ll go perhaps controversially with Myleene Klass. She’s a musician, amateur astronomer (apparently), and a women of great beauty to boot.

To complete the group would be Ricky Gervais, who is not only very funny, but is wise, educated and hard-working. I’m pretty positive he would hate this whole thing, but he’s got no choice, because this is up to me.

Hill, Titmus, Wright, Lawson, Williams, Cox, Klass, Gervais…Tyler. If that lot can’t form a successful new society then there’s no hope.


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