It’s going to be all-white

PUBLISHED: 13:35 16 August 2007 | UPDATED: 15:12 12 May 2010

The house is resembling a building site as we (that s me and Nipper the Cat) negotiate our way around paint tins and various tools. Now, like gardening and shopping, I m not trained for such an exercise. And I do mean exercise. The whole operation seems t

The house is resembling a building site as we (that's me and Nipper the Cat) negotiate our way around paint tins and various tools.

Now, like gardening and shopping, I'm not trained for such an exercise.

And I do mean exercise.

The whole operation seems to be undertaken with some kind of military precision.

There is the time spent assessing the job - and then deciding on the materials required.

Then there is the selection of the colour of the paint and whether there is a need to replace, I suppose, accessories.

This, obviously, all takes time, and it needs a woman's touch to get it right.

That is the reason I do not get involved in the world of do-it-yourself.

Still, once a choice has been made, then I come into my own.

The reason? Because I provide the transport and then walk around pushing one of those trolleys with a life of their own from aisle to aisle while the said decorating materials are piled higher and higher.

Until this weekend I didn't realise white paint came in so many colours.

Yes, I did say white paint.

I mean, to me, white paint is white paint. Nothing more, nothing less.

But there I was looking at shelves piled high with paint tins. There is white and brilliant white, and white with a touch of pink, and white with a tinge of blossom (whatever that is) and white which looks sky blue.

And each paint tin comes with complicated instructions about the kind of method one has to use when making one's application.

Whatever happened to the days when painting meant searching for an old tin in the garden shed and simply giving it a shake and good stir.

Still, I wouldn't say we had enough paint to undertake a job of Forth Bridge proportion, but it did seem rather a lot.

It's even more amazing considering that the job being undertaken is a re-decoration of the bathroom.

It's not exactly the largest room in the house.

And once the paint has been chosen then there is a need for brushes. Yes brushes.

There seems to be a brush for every job.

I haven't even mentioned, yet, the need for sandpaper and white spirit and a hot air gun to strip the numerous layers of paint, which once uncovered, show the decorating prowess of the Victorians.

And it's so difficult to remove this particular layer that it proves the Victorians really did do a job to last.


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