Running for cover

IT was Woody Allen who once said that something worse than death was spending an evening with an insurance salesman.

He was quite right.

In this case, however, it's spending seemingly hours on the telephone.

The whole episode began, I believed, as a survey - and taking on the man in the street role, I was willing to co-operate.

So the questions started.

You know, the usual. Do I have home insurance? What about car insurance? Have you a travel insurance policy?

The woman working her way through the script didn't ask whether Nipper the Cat had pet insurance. But that's another story.

Now I learned some time ago that when these scripted survey questions are asked, any answer that does not conform to the expected really throws the inquistor.

It's not done on purpose, really.

But when some of the ­questions appear to be so stupid, then they really do expect a silly answer.

Would I consider an insurance policy to pay for any treatment to an injury received during a sporting activity?

Seeing as sporting activity these days revolves around watching Match of the Day and the occasional journey to a sporting event, I believe the likelihood of a sporting injury to be quite remote.

Perhaps it's a policy for people who don't actually play sport, so there is not the chance that there will ever be a claim.

That's one way of getting our money.

Then there is that part of the survey when questions come about reading habits.

This, I believe, is to create a profile of the intended "victim" (or potential customer).

No I don't read Country Life or Farmers' Weekly, or Hare and Hounds.

And, believe it or not, there was a question about reading either The Sunday Times or the Mail on Sunday - on a Sunday.

I suppose now there will be someone calling attempting to sell me insurance.

Well, I'm covered.