A FEW months ago one of our more respected national newspapers explained the kind of prowess needed for buying and selling on E Bay. So there I was ready to become an on-line millionaire. Being someone who does have a habit of hoarding, I thought there ha

A FEW months ago one of our more respected national newspapers explained the kind of prowess needed for buying and selling on E Bay.

So there I was ready to become an on-line millionaire.

Being someone who does have a habit of hoarding, I thought there has to be something which is rare and valuable - and, ­obviously, an item that someone else really needs to acquire.

You see, hoarding is not really hoarding, as such, it's more or less collecting. Well that's the description I give to such an exercise.

An item that may appear to be rubbish could be worth a decent price.

Obviously, too, an item that has been collected has a certain ­sentimental value.

But to return to making a million.

There I was rummaging through all that hoarded rubbish (I mean collection) to see whether there was something, anything of great value.

And anyway, who wants an old FA Cup Final ticket or a dog-eared book or a scratched vinyl LP?

Who indeed? Believe it or not there are people out there and willing to pay a seemingly ­ridiculous price.

So I went on-line purely as an exercise to compare the asking price with some of the junk ­(collection) I've accumulated.

Would you believe it? The FA Cup programme from 1978 when somehow Arsenal contrived to be beaten by Ipswich Town is worth a staggering 99 pence.

That just leaves making £999,999 to reach the million.

If I had the original 1923 FA Cup programme when Wembley became the venue, then we would be talking £1,200, or even the 1930 FA Cup Final ­programme between Arsenal and Huddersfield Town, said to be worth £720.

No, I've got Arsenal and Ipswich which no-one really wants. Or no-one is prepared to pay a ­massive price.

Now what about books (and I can say here that I have a collection or even a library without the lending facilities)?

A first edition of Agatha Christie's Secret of Chimneys is a bargain at £650 and Ian ­Fleming's original Casino Royle will cost about £1,750.

Not having either, I went on a voyage of discovery through the bookshelves, and unearthed a copy of Hugh Cudlipp's Publish and Be Damned.

And it was a first edition.

Indeed, it was a bargain when I spent £5 on acquiring it from a second-hand book shop.

It's a book, I believe, worth ­having, about one of the great editors in newspaper history.

And what's it worth? On E-bay the price is £4.

So it wasn't that much of a ­bargain years ago.

Still, the memories from years of hoarding (collecting) are worth a lot more.