Come on Chelsea

THE head gardener has spent a lot of time this week talking about Chelsea.

I didn't realise she had such an interest in our national game or was even keen to see Chelsea play Manchester United in the European Cup Final in Moscow.

But every time the word Chelsea was mentioned it gave me the opportunity to display a great wealth of knowledge.

There I was talking about the early days in Jimmy Greaves's career and the goal-scoring achievements of Peter Osgood, the skills of Alan Hudson, and the toughness of Ron Harris.

But I didn't seem to be making any sense.

The next time Chelsea was mentioned I began on a more philosophical tact.

Perhaps we could discuss whether Avram Grant will remain as manager at Stamford Bridge, or will Roman Abramovich spend millions during the summer in a bid to buy success.

This, too, didn't work.

So I attempted a history lesson, talking about the exploits of Roy Bentley and Tommy Lawton.

And all this from someone who doesn't even support Chelsea.

But then I realised what the conversation was really about. We were not talking about Chelsea, but about the Chelsea Flower Show.

It should have been obvious. I mean, it's what the head gardener knows about.

So I had to listen (and watch) as Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift went about the business of explaining the show gardens and the plants in the marquee.

It got quite exciting at one stage when there was a display of exotic plants which I thought would be marvellous for our patch.

I was then told that such plants need the tropics and would not survive in our chalk ground.

Then there was talk about amaranthus and dictamnus and osteospermum, and plants being hardy and half-hardy and perennial and vigorous.

Vigorous was a word I picked up on to explain David Webb's goal in the FA Cup Final replay against Leeds United at Old Trafford in 1970.

Still, having heard so much about the pitch for Wednesday night's game, I believe those in charge at the Luzhniki Stadium probably need a head gardener.